


the ol' one-two

by segmentcalled



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: M/M, Penis In Vagina Sex, Porn with Feelings, Remix, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, gender euphoria, gender feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:49:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23842102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/segmentcalled/pseuds/segmentcalled
Summary: Pat wipes his mouth—Brian's mouth—and though he doesn't look disgusted, the look on his face is so transcendentally sad that Brian regrets everything immediately. Brian's heart's going a million in his chest. "I'm—so sorry—" he squeaks out, "Pat, I—"—the blow, when it lands, by highoctane
Relationships: Brian David Gilbert/Patrick Gill
Comments: 13
Kudos: 46
Collections: Polygon Remix Challenge April 2020





	the ol' one-two

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [the blow, when it lands](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18989152) by Anonymous. 

> THANKS HIGHOCTANE FOR WRITING SUCH BEAUTIFUL THINGS I DO HOPE YOU LIKE THIS
> 
> if you haven't read the original work go do that now it's so good!!!!

_Pat wipes his mouth—Brian's mouth—and though he doesn't look disgusted, the look on his face is so transcendentally sad that Brian regrets everything immediately. Brian's heart's going a million in his chest. "I'm—so sorry—" he squeaks out, "Pat, I—"_  
— _the blow, when it lands_, by highoctane 

“Brian…” Pat begins, then stops. Shakes his head. Puts both hands over his face and drags them downwards, then back to cover his eyes again. “Fuck. I-I don’t — shit. It’s not you, I just don’t wanna kiss my own ugly mug. If you were… if you were you, I’d kiss you back.” Pat peeks between his fingertips at Brian. “But on the other hand, huh.”

“What?”

“Don’t hate me for suggesting this,” Pat says, dropping his hands to his thighs, still looking away from Brian, “it’s just that most — most trans people don’t get to spend however long it is they’re spending in, uh, in a cis body of, of the gender that they are.” Pause, blink. “Assuming you’re cis?”

“Yeah, no secret genders here, sorry to disappoint.”

“Damn,” Pat says, cracking a ghost of a smile. “But I guess what I’m saying, uh, with your permission, I mean, we could — or I could — see what it’s like for, for _you_, for if I was, if I had —”

“I get you,” Brian says, putting his hand on top of Pat’s. “I won’t lie and say I’m not, uh, curious, but that’s just, um, straight up-and-down curiosity, which is… different, I think, from what you’re putting down, and by no means do I have to do anything with that. I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. But if you wanted to, to touch yourself, or if you wanted me to touch you, or — or whatever — Pat, I trust you with me. You can, if you want to. You don’t have to do it here, or now. But you can.”

Pat lifts his eyes to meet Brian’s for the first time in this conversation, something steely and determined in the set of his mouth.

“I don’t want to kiss myself,” Pat says, “but I don’t think there’s anyone who knows how to fuck myself better than me.”

Brian’s breath catches. “Oh, _gosh_, yes,” he says, and instinctively reaches out to put his hand on the back of Pat’s neck to pull him in, but remembers himself at the last moment and turns away from the kiss, landing instead with his face tucked against Pat’s shoulder. “If you’re sure?”

“Hey, if you’re curious — like, if it doesn’t squick you out — and if I’m curious, and we might be stuck like this awhile besides, what do we have to lose? I mean, if you’d rather, I could watch you get yourself off and let you watch me, but, honesetly, I think I’d hate watching you struggle to figure out what feels good when I _know_.”

“Are you saying I don’t know my way around a —”

“Probably not! Not when it’s attached to you! If you wanna know how good it feels, then I want to — I want to show you.”

“Oh,” Brian says softly. Pat’s cheeks — Brian’s, really, but he doesn’t know how possession works here — have gone a little pink.

“If you wanted me to,” Pat says, doing that thing where it looks like he’s making eye contact but he’s actually staring directly past Brian’s shoulder, like he does when he’s nervous, when he’s overwhelmed, “I’d take you from behind. Bite bruises into you where you can’t see them, but you can feel them when you lean back in your chair. I wouldn’t kiss you, I’m sorry, I just can’t kiss myself, but I — I’d reach around and fuck my fingers into you, letting you see how it feels to have something inside you like that. And then, if you liked it, I’d —”

“Show me,” Brian whispers. “I want you to show me.”

He _aches_ to kiss Pat, somewhere deep in his soul — whatever the hell _soul_ even means after today — wants desperately to pull him in by the hair and shove his tongue in his mouth and kiss the absolute dickens out of him. Instead, though, Pat is pulling his hoodie off, and Brian’s unbuttoning his shirt with shaky hands, and he aches and he _aches_, in his chest with longing deep inside him, and somewhere more tangibly, hot between his legs.

He knows the base feeling of arousal — the need, the heat, the pulse — but this is different, this emptiness, the way he twitches around nothing, needing something to bear down around.

Pat is swift in providing this, as soon as Brian’s stripped naked. He wraps an arm around Brian’s middle where he’s kneeling with his back to Pat; Brian stares enraptured at Pat’s other hand as his fingers trace up to Brian’s inner thigh, behind coarse dark hair, to trace around the core of that need, so _close_ but not quite enough.

“Feel good?” Pat murmurs, pressing his cheek to the back of Brian’s shoulder.

“Uh-huh. I want more,” he says, with a little huff of a laugh.

“Of course you do,” Pat murmurs, teasing his fingers over his entrance. “Insatiable. I should’ve known.”

“Oh, god — I just remembered — how many times can you come, Pat Gill?”

“_Lord_, I should’ve known that’d be your first question. If you push me to my limit and I have to deal with my body tomorrow, I’m gonna be so —” Pat laughs. “Hell, let’s have some fun, if you’re gonna have to feel it. I’m not gonna tell you. I’m gonna show you.” He pauses. “What’ve you got in you, like once? Twice?”

“I can get to three but that’s really pushing it.”

Pat barks a laugh. “We’ll see where we’re at, then,” Pat says, and pushes his hair out of the way as if he’s going to kiss the back of Brian’s neck, then balks and simply presses his face there instead. “God, I wish it was you I was touching.”

“I mean, you are touching me. Technically.”

“Are you talking about you-me or me-you?”

“Both, I guess. I meant, though, like — it’s my consciousness here, or whatever. It’s effectively me. And I know you’ve got some — some hangups, about yourself, which is fair, but like, from my POV? You’re pretty frickin’ hot, Pat.”

“That’s kind of you,” Pat murmurs, tracing circles closer to Brian’s entrance. He’s definitely wet, now; Pat’s fingers move slick over his skin.

“I mean it.”

“You’re sweet. This is just weird for me.”

“It’s weird for me too, but I’m kinda into it.”

“That is less surprising than it should be.”

“Ohmygod, shut _uuup_. Put your fingers in me already, will you?”

Pat snickers. “If you insist.”

“I do-_ooo_ that’s — oh — okay — o-_kay_,” Brian says, and Pat’s laughing again, or still, like he’s happy. “Oh, I like this. So sensitive. God. It really feels like this for you all the time?”

“Yep,” Pat says, slowly fucking his fingers into Brian, pulling back just to thrust them in again. “Plenty of pros ‘n cons to my whole, uh, situation, but damn it feels good to have something inside me.”

“Oh, please try out my dick, Pat, I’m fucking — like — begging you, c’mon.”

“Give me a minute. You need to be nice and slick, mm, if you want anything inside you. I want it to feel as good as possible.”

Brian whines, wordless.

“Maybe I’ll make you wait even longer. Maybe I’ll make you come before I give you more than this.”

“_God_. You know best. Do what you want.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. This feels _good_, I’m just whiny ‘cause I like it. I want more.”

“I’ll give you more, don’t worry,” Pat says. He pulls Brian closer, forcing him to shift his position off his knees and into Pat’s lap, his legs spread open on either side of Pat’s. “There you go. Is that more comfy.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Brian sighs, as Pat’s fingers sink into him again. He drops his head back and moans, and Pat swears softly.

“Why was that hot.”

“Just roll with it, baby. Don’t think about it too hard. It’s supposed to feel good, yeah?”

“It’s hard not to be in my head about it.”

“Betcha if you put your dick in me it’d be a lot easier.”

Pat laughs, that real laugh of his where he tilts his head back, his whole body leaning into it a little. “You really want it, huh!”

“I do! Come _on_, Pat, make me come or stick it in already.”

“You just wanna feel everything all at once, don’t you?”

“What’s the point otherwise? If I _can_, I want to.”

“Let me grab a condom, then,” Pat says. When he pulls his hand away, Brian actually whimpers, a sound that is absolutely too much to bear in Pat’s voice. Pat hums in response, crawling across the bed to fish around in his nightstand. He’s hard, for sure for sure, and he sits back down on the bed like he’s not quite sure what to do with himself.

“C’mere. Let me,” Brian says, already scooting over to him, holding a hand out for the packet.

“It’s weird from this direction,” Pat says.

“Ha! You get used to it,” Brian says, grinning up at him. Pat twitches when Brian touches his dick; Pat’s eyes go very wide as Brian rolls on the condom, staring at Brian’s hands until he’s done, whereupon his eyes go right to Brian’s face.

“Fuck, it’s so weird to look at you — me — whatever — it’s so weird.”

“Tell me about it,” Brian says, reaching out to brush his fingers over Pat’s cheek. Or, the cheek that belongs to Brian’s body, from which he is currently separated. “Seeing your expressions on my face is kinda fun, though. You don’t look like me, somehow.”

“I feel like you don’t really look like me either,” Pat says. He reaches out to touch his thumb to the crease of anxiety between his eyebrows. “Damn if this isn’t still here, though.”

“That’s okay. Your smile makes up for it.”

Pat laughs, like he’s been caught off-guard, a startled smile on his face. “You’re always surprising me,” he says softly.

“I’m full of surprises, baby! Come touch me, I’m dyin’ here.”

“Okay, well, that’s less of a surprise,” Pat says, with a lopsided little grin. “You ready?”

“Come at me, bro,” Brian says, grinning.

“I hate you,” Pat says, laughing, already pulling Brian closer. He tucks his head against the side of Brian’s neck, fumbling his hand between them to take his cock in hand, to guide it into Brian, slowly stretching him open around the head.

Brian swears and spreads his legs wider, planting his feet firmly on the bed to get the leverage to rock up against him.

“Easy, easy,” Pat murmurs. “Take it slow, sweetheart, it’s been a while.”

“I like the stretch,” Brian says. “‘N if I’m being honest, it’s not that much of one. I’m not — hah — not much to write home about in that department.”

“I like it,” Pat says, rocking his hips again until his breath hitches and he drops his head down. “Oh, wow. Oh, fuck, Brian. Y-you’re so — hot and, and tight, oh _fuck!”_ he yelps, as Brian finally manages to coordinate his brain to his muscles and clench around him. “Jesus, do that again.”

Brian obliges him and he groans, long and low, like it’s the best he’s ever felt.

“Good,” Pat says, his hand skating down between Brian’s legs, “because it’s gonna be even better in a hot second.”

Pat really does know his body well, because Brian doesn’t even follow what Pat does, can’t track the movements of his fingers other than _goodgoodgoodyesgood_ as Brian reaches behind himself to hold onto Pat, and he twitches and gasps and spasms around him until the heat building inside him floods out through his nervous system, down into his fucking _bones_, and he throws his head back and whines and Pat twists his head to get his mouth against Brian’s neck as Brian shudders and jerks through it.

As Brian’s coming down, riding out the aftershocks that zing through him, Pat’s hips rock in aborted little movements until Brian rolls his hips — a move he’d pull off better in his own body; Pat’s is less cooperative — but it’s enough, it seems, enough to give the counterbalance to Pat’s frantic motions, because in moments Pat bucks up hard into him, makes a helpless sort of sound against Brian’s bare skin, something like a moan or a whimper, his body trembling as he comes.

He goes limp against Brian’s back when he’s done, his arms loose around Brian’s waist, breathing hard.

“You okay?” Brian asks softly.

“Yeah, shit, that was — Lord, that felt good. I don’t want to pull out but it’s — I’m — so fucking sensitive, Jesus. Is it always like this? Or is that just me?”

“I think it’s a whole different ball game between you and me, considering that I think coming once just now made me, like, _more_ horny.”

“That’ll do it,” Pat says. He wiggles a little, then hisses out a breath and pushes Brian gently forward, out of his lap. “Give me a sec, and I’ll show you what else I got, then maybe when I’m ready to go again we can give this another shot?”

“Ooh, what else you got?”

“I dunno, but if you wanna keep going, I think we can figure some things out,” Pat says, and when Brian glances at him, he feels warm at the sly little smile on his face.

“It won’t be weird for you?”

“Can’t get any weirder than literally fucking myself!” Pat says, cheerfully, and Brian laughs and presses himself into Pat’s arms, nuzzling his face against Pat’s shoulder. Pat holds him close, presses a quick little kiss to the top of his head.

“As soon as you let me,” Brian says dreamily, “I’m gonna kiss the absolute heck outta you, Pat Gill.”

“I look forward to it, Brian,” Pat says, and Brian hugs him tighter.

**Author's Note:**

> ♥♥♥♥


End file.
